Padre Matt,
What's up? Man, I have had an awesome week, other than my car battery trying to die on me. That will be replaced soon. It still starts up the car, but I keep having to reset the clock on the car radio every once in a while.
Well, it looks like I'll have some money to save. Still needing help for this next month though. I'm still looking for a job. It's not easy finding one. I've talked with some of the students, some of who are still looking for jobs, and they've been out here a little bit longer than me, so I'm not alone here. I think God has given me some rest that I really needed, though. When I first got out here, I wasn't resting in his presence like I needed to. I was worried because I had no job, and I hardly knew anyone here that could help me out if any problems came up. I forgot that I needed to trust in God and not lean on my own understanding.
I've been thinking of some T-shirt designs actually. I'm going to try some of the designs out on T-shirts on cafepress.com and see if anyone wants to buy them. I've bought T-shirts on Cafepress.com before and the shirts are decent quality. Not giving up on the job search though, but I might see what God could do with these designs...
I went on a 4.5 mile walk today at Lema Ranch near where I live. God was really talking to me about his beauty during this walk. It wasn't just about his beauty, but getting addicted to his beauty. I originally only planned to walk 2.25 miles, but as a prophetic act, the holy spirit told me to walk the loop again and stay in the beauty of God, get addicted to it, and walk into new areas of freedom in my life. It's was amazing. We all have a natural desire for God's beauty, and for his presence, but we tend to see a lot of ugliness in our lives. We end up missing the beauty that he wants us to see. We learn to replace what we're supposed to be addicted to, God's presence and beauty, with other stuff like drugs, pornography, or even just stuff that may not be considered sinful, like work (workaholics), pleasing others, food, etc. I'm thinking if anyone is struggling with some kind of addiction, they should try getting into a place where they are just surrounded with God's beauty. I got to see a lot of what God created, and the beauty of God just shows through all of it. I just could not think about things the same way anymore. Get to a point where you're just addicted to it, and replace what addictions you may have had previously with that. Anyway, if I keep going on these walks, I'm going to experience a different kind of supernatural weight loss, haha. I hear about supernatural weight loss during worship or something like that. Well, that prophetic act was an act of worship really, but not done during a worship service. This will definitely be a somewhat different kind of supernatural weight loss though.
Also, I've noticed that the friendships I've been making here are very authentic. Growing up in the south, it always driven me crazy that people would put on the whole friendly facade and pretend to be your friend when really they don't care that much about you. They might briefly ask how you're doing, you answer, and they just move on. It's strange, I remember times when someone would ask me how I was doing, I would tell them about all these horrible things I'm struggling with, and they'd say "that's nice, I'm glad things are going well for you." WHAT? It's like they didn't listen. No, I'm not exaggerating, I've had that happen to me a few times. Something just isn't right about that. But here, with the friends I'm making, they are listening, and they're real friendships. I had a few of those back at home, but not to the extent that I really needed. It's difficult initially to make friends, especially in a big church like Bethel, but once you start talking to people, you can become real friends with them. I am totally realizing the prophetic song that Ryan Internicola sang over me at the ZHOP CHOW conference coming to pass. I definitely feel like I fit in here. I felt like I fit in at New Beginnings Church, for the most part, but I feel like I fit in here a lot more, even outside of church. I go to a restaurant or store or something around here, and I can just have some really cool conversations with people and really feel accepted. I know when I get done with ministry school, I will be coming back to New Beginnings Church at some point, but I know I don't want to come back unless I know I am ready to be used to change the Raleigh area, to be used to cause people to stop this facade of being friendly with no real love behind it. People know we're christians by our Love, not fake friendliness, which is mostly what I've experienced in North Carolina. I want to learn to accept others to a greater degree, to be more authentic, and to show the love of God. I want to be used by God to share that love with others. Signs and wonders are great, but without love, it's just another "notch on our belt" as Deborah Reed was saying last night at the Friday night service. She mentioned that one time some people from the ministry school went out to the mall to minister. This one lady, who was in a wheelchair, had been prayed for a few times by some BSSM students for healing. This time around, she didn't want them to pray for her. She said that when she was prayed for before, no one cared enough to ask her what her name was. We need to be motivated by love, not just by seeing some cool supernatural stuff happen. Last night, I hung out with some friends, including some new friends, from Bethel. This one person who I had never talked with before told me that he could feel God's love so strong on me. It's not the first time I've been told that, either. This was a current ministry school student who two years ago I probably wouldn't even want to hang around. He's what some might consider a "thug" and he was actually in jail a couple of years ago for DUI. He was addicted to alcahol, cocaine, and crystal meth. God changed him while he was in jail, however. He had no desire to go back to what he was addicted to. He is a christian rapper now, and one of several I am connecting with to help with the christian music scene here in Redding. I'm haven't even trying to put forth that much effort in connecting with the people I need to connect with. God is doing it all for me so far. Anyway I got to hear him rap a little last night. I admitted I'm more of a rock and electronica kind of guy, but I really liked what he was doing.
OK, I've said a lot in this e-mail. God is doing a lot of stuff here. I'm fitting in here much better than I would have ever imagined. And yet God has even more for me, that's the crazy thing about it! I am just so blown away by God, and he's telling me right now as I type this letter that this is just a small blast compared to what he wants to do in my life.
Joey Cagle
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