Part of me really wants to go back home right now...

I have mixed feelings about things right now.

Since I've been here in Redding, I have seen God do some awesome things.  He provided my financial needs when I wasn't expecting it earlier this month, after I received a word that God would be providing me money through unforeseen sources of income..  He used me to heal someone.  He's shown me that I needed to step out of my comfort zone and be out here.

Yet part of me wants to be back home.  While God has provided some of my needs, I haven't seen him providing all of my needs.  I need a job.  I need a new car battery.  I need to pay off my student loans.  Pastor Matt will probably be sending me some money in the next couple of days, so that's good.  But the plan Matt and I discussed was that I was going to get a job and start saving money for ministry school.  Well I still don't have a job, and quite frankly I'm sick of looking. 

I'm feeling pretty bad right now, and I haven't felt like this in a while.  Today has been a rough day for me.  I'm moving into a new place, and I don't even have much of my stuff packed yet.  When I did move some of my stuff into the new place, my car battery died there.  I've been meaning to clean out the truck for a few weeks.  It's still a mess, and I had a pretty embarrassing situation with my messy truck because of the car battery dying.  I'm pretty sick of it dying.  I don't have much money left at the moment.  All I've got left to eat is ramen noodles and cereal, no milk because there's no room in my spot of the fridge for my own milk. 

The past few weeks, I've been having trouble sleeping.  When I do get to sleep, it's about 4 or 5 in the morning and I wake up about 11 in the morning.  I already missed a good chunk of the day right there.  I don't even know why this kind of sleep pattern has started. 

I purposely woke up earlier than I had been waking up.  Maybe part of the problem is my lack of sleep.  Maybe I'll be feeling better after I sleep.  But I know I haven't seen God providing all my needs.  Yes, I know I need to do my part.  I've been trying to do my part.  What else do I need to do?

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