I've been searching for a job. I'm coming up empty handed. My church back at home is still helping me out, but the amount they've been giving me has gone down.
I asked for help last week right here on my blog. One person was able to give me $50, and I am so thankful for that. However, that was gone pretty quickly, especially considering the gas prices here being 4.00/gallon.
I'm not giving up. I can't and won't give up, especially after the prophetic words that have been spoken me and the constant confirmation that I've been getting that this is where I'm supposed to be. Even if I have to run out of food, starve, and walk to church on friday and sunday, that's what I'll do. God has to provide my needs or take my life. God said he'd provide my needs. I'm not even talking about wants here right now.
God did not send me out here to Redding, CA to starve to death. I don't believe that at all. But I know he did send me. I know he is a good God and I've experienced so many things. I can't understand why my needs are not being met. Is there something I'm missing here? I don't know.
And I don't think my church back at home will go with the idea of me going back home at this point. They've invested a lot in me. And even if I could make the choice to go home, with the giving the way it has been the last few months, there wouldn't be enough money. But I don't want to go back home. I know that being here is God's will for me at the moment. But I know there's more. I know I need breakthrough in this area of my life.
God, YOU HAVE TO PROVIDE! You said you would! Your word says it! Phillipians 4:19 says you'll meet all my needs according to your riches in Christ Jesus. Matthew 6:33 tells us to seek first your kingdom and your righteousness, and all things will be given to us. I'm trying to do that. "If you remain in me and my words remain in you, whatever you wish, and it will be given you" ~ John 15:7. "Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours." Mark 11:24 - ok, I've been doing this one, and I'm still not seeing this happen. God, you are good. I've seen you do great things. You've taken care of me and provided my needs to a certain measure. But I have more needs than what you've taken care of so far.
God, you've got to come through here. I believe your word is true. I'm tempted to question it at points like this, but I will not. I'm just going to continue to believe, and I know you're going to provide. I could get into more scripture here, but you know your word, Lord. I know this is your word. You will not lie. So Lord, do not make yourself a liar and have my needs go unmet. You can't do that. It's not in your nature to lie. You are pure and holy, Lord. And if man, being evil, gives good things to his children, how much more so will you? This is my plea, Lord, HELP! I need your help! Part of this is a whole I dug, Lord, especially with the School of Communication Arts. I never should have gone there. I should have been more persistent, Lord, about going to ministry school. I probably should have gone back to Johnston Community College and finished up there, because then I wouldn't have had nearly the student loan debt that I have. But Lord, I know you can take care of this. You can provide me with a job that will help meet my needs, or you can send a check in the mail. You can have it appear in my bank account, and I've had friends who've had money miraculously in their bank account. Lord, you are good to your children. So tell me why it is sometimes our needs aren't met! I need to know. Sometimes we have faith that you will provide, and yet for some reason something blocks it. I know sometimes it's our own stupidity or laziness.
Lord, show me what areas of my life I've been lazy in or haven't made good choices in. And if neither of those things are the case, show me what's blocking me from receiving what you've promised!
And Lord, money isn't everything. I would be happy even with a little money. But you know we need it, and you will provide our needs. You'll even give more than enough.
Lord, give me a job! I've been searching and haven't found one yet. Change the attitudes of those that do the hiring in Redding. Show them that they can hire more people on in their businesses. And Lord, I saw you bless me at the School of Communication Arts anyway, even though I feel it was a mistake for me to go. Give me a good job in graphic or web design. Please, do not let my time at that school be a waste. You make all things good for thsoe who believe. Lord, I believe!
Blogged with Flock
No comments:
Post a Comment