Sunday, August 3, 2008

Financial situation, and Road to Courtship commitment

Just so everyone knows, the church did finally paypal me.  Thanks for all those who prayed and helped out financially.

The second thing, God has convicted me and some others of my friends about dating.  I'm not going to be legalistic about it, but it's something to really think about.  I've decided I'm not going to date.  I'm going to be courting.  I've also decided to take every thought captive every time the thought comes up "she might be the next one", lay it at the foot of the cross, and if God brings it back, it will be better than before.

These are generally guidelines for this.  I'm not going to say this is right for every person, but I do believe that for many people, this is a better way.

I hope we can all grab a hold of this...


Betrothing- a secure public relationship
Be- to cause to come to pass
troth- the trust of marriage
Betrothing is a relationship sought by a young man, responded to by a young lady and supervised and approved by parents.
Betrothal is found 13 times in the bible and is used 5 times as synonym.
Betrothing is not a command but an ideal Biblical plan. It's a choice for BLESSING!
Betrothal is the Biblical alternative to dating. (Worldly)

Biblical references supporting the Biblical ideal of courtship: Gen. 2:18,22; Gen. 24:1-67; Gen. 38:3; Exodus 22:16-17; [Deut. 20:7-Hebrew-arosh-commitment to agree to marry; KEY VERSE] 2 Samuel 3:14; Deut. 28:30; Hosea 2:19; 1 Corinthians 7:38; 2 Corinthians 11:2.

The hidden dangers of Unscriptural dating:
1- You can not fit Biblical principles into dating: Illustration: A tropical plant will not flourish in a northern state in January.
2- No Biblical pattern- no one dated in the bible.
3- Children and young people are to spend their youth seeking after God. -Eccl. 12:1; Psalm 73:23-25 The dating game boyfriend girlfriend mentiality (philosophy) robs God of the emotional energy that is reserved for a young person to seek God alone. WORSHIP GOD!
4- Malachi 4:6; Luke 1:16-17; Children are to surrender their hearts to their parents. Example: Jesus did the will of his father. John 5:19,30
5- Dating undermines parental authority- Ephesians 6:1-4; Exodus 20:12
6- It violates Biblical principals of moral and sexual purity. Romans 13:14; Matthew 26:41. Dating is historically and socially a falure. It is the new kid on the block! Ex. Early 1900's. Courtship is 800 years old!
7- Dating is not in the Bible in word, example, or principle.
          a. Motive is wrong- "getting"
          b. Goal in wrong- "pleasure"
          c. Idea is wrong- "trust human nature"
          d. Result in wrong- "bad fruit"
8- Dating is a threat to happy, strong marriages and future emotional health
          a. increase in date rapes, damages future relationship with life-mate, (emotional scars from disappointment from past broken relationships are taken into the marriage relationship) Divorce rate is now 50% in Christian marriages.
          b. Dating sets young people up for failure in marriage by one disappointing date after another. HABIT
9- Dating in "church" youth groups hinders spiritual growth and fellowship because of the "dating mentality".


Courtship is the ideal Biblical pattern: Salvation is like betrothing or espousing.
1. Ephesians 1:4; The Father chose the bride for the Son.
2- Luke 19:10; seek and save the lost.
3- John 5:30; Mark 1:35: pray for the Fathers will.
4- Jesus paid the greatest dowry- 1 Peter1:18-19 blood of Christ; lamb without blemish.
5- the bride excepts or rejects Him; perment relationship- He loves us and we love him- We can not touch Him, but we will- our marriage will take place after the rapture- Revelation 19 "white linen"
          a. God made one woman (Eve) for one Man (Adam)- teach our children that God has one life-mate for them!
          b. A child's loyalty to parents is important because loyalty is transferred to life-mate. Hence, a child's loyalty then is transferred to his/her relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ! THOUGHT! Wouldn't it be nice if the only person your child held hands with or kissed was their life-mate! THINK ABOUT IT!!
          c. ANYTIME WE VIOLATE A BIBLICAL PRINCIPLE WE HAVE THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCE.


Principles for Courtship:
1- No missionary courting & marriage- 2 Cor 6: 14 " be not unequally yoked with unbelievers. Many men find their wives in church but soon after the marriage they stop attending church.
REASON: Satan's goal- John 10:10 steal, kill and destroy. Some men want a pure woman.
PRINCIPLE: If the man does not initiate true spiritual leadership (prayer, Bible reading & study, other church functions) during the courtship relationship, do not deceive yourself, he won't after the marriage either.
2- Ladies- See how the young man treats his mother. (word deed, thought-attitude)
PRINCIPLE: the way he treats his mother is the way he will treat you. DO NOT BE DECEIVED
3- NEVER BE ALONE until the wedding night! Romans 13:14 do not trust the flesh-emotions.
PRINCIPLE: Never touch yourself or allow anyone to touch you were you wear your bathing suit! Be sexually and morally pure! Physical intimacy (sex) is reservedc for only your life-mate.
4- Always use God's authority structure to receive divine guidance for a life-mate before the courtship relationship begins. this means parents, step-parents, grand-parents, foster-parents, or anyone who is in their place. In other words, ASK YOUR PARENTS
Reason: You need clear direction from the Lord before you initiate the courtship relationship or in reality you could just be "dating". Remember, courtship is someone you are making a commitment to marry.
PRINCIPLE: Have the young man ask your parents if he can start the courtship relationship, FIRST. Use the God-ordained protection of family and church. Seek counsel with your parents always!

Three-fold commitment for courtship:
1- Commitment to be spiritually pure and mature.
2- To be financially responsible before entering into a courtship relationship
3- To "wait upon God" for His choice for a life-mate.

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