I haven't truly forgiven my church back at home in North Carolina.
I want to forgive. I try. And for some reason I still find I'm holding something against them.
I kind of think it's a perceived hurt, that maybe they did nothing wrong to me but the way I perceived it, I got hurt.
The lack of communication on their part isn't helping things.
I just want to hear from someone. I don't really care if they want to financially support me or not. That's not what it's about. These people are family, and I just feel like something went wrong and they've kind of distanced themselves from me.
Maybe it's something that I need to make right. I've been trying to do that, but really, I don't know how.
If I was able to, I'd love to just go back home and spend a month there and just get back in touch with people. I'm not able to do that right now. I don't believe the relationship with my church family back at home is supposed to be broken like this.
Well I can't really go back home for a month right now and I really need to find a job or get more web site design clients. If I can get more clients, then maybe going home for a month would be an option because at least then I could probably borrow a laptop for a month or rent one and get some work done at the same time.
Maybe it's time for another sozo? I dunno...
I want to forgive. I try. And for some reason I still find I'm holding something against them.
I kind of think it's a perceived hurt, that maybe they did nothing wrong to me but the way I perceived it, I got hurt.
The lack of communication on their part isn't helping things.
I just want to hear from someone. I don't really care if they want to financially support me or not. That's not what it's about. These people are family, and I just feel like something went wrong and they've kind of distanced themselves from me.
Maybe it's something that I need to make right. I've been trying to do that, but really, I don't know how.
If I was able to, I'd love to just go back home and spend a month there and just get back in touch with people. I'm not able to do that right now. I don't believe the relationship with my church family back at home is supposed to be broken like this.
Well I can't really go back home for a month right now and I really need to find a job or get more web site design clients. If I can get more clients, then maybe going home for a month would be an option because at least then I could probably borrow a laptop for a month or rent one and get some work done at the same time.
Maybe it's time for another sozo? I dunno...
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