So it's obvious this is only temporary, more so than I thought. This eagle is flying out of the chicken coup.

So I've been back almost a month.

I was back and in need of help.

The only ones who have been of any help to me since I've been back have been my parents, albeit begrudgingly, and my brother and his wife.

I needed a ride for church. I only had that one Sunday the whole time I've been here. I needed a ride to apply for jobs at places where the application isn't available on line yet. That never happened. I needed to be closer to Raleigh where I could catch the CAT bus to do job searching. Again, nothing worked out there. What I originally had planned for that totally went wrong due to finding out I had to leave Redding earlier than when I originally planned.

Others are not able to or don't want to help. I know some just can't. Others, however, can help.

Over the weekend, I was concerned that I might need to move out of my parents house (I never intended to stay there permanently anyway) because of a situation that was going on. Fortunately, things did not work out as I expected (a good thing this time around, as normally when things don't work out as I expected it's generally been an upset) and it's all ok. However, I called pretty much all the pastors of my church to get help. I was only able to get in touch with one of them. I've yet to hear back about a place to stay, or "sorry, couldn't come up with anything", or anything. Granted, Thanksgiving is coming up and everyone is heading out of town. I only needed to be there for one week anyway. But no help as of yet. So two thoughts are going through my mind. "They just weren't able to work anything out" and "They don't care about me, they're tired of helping me out".

I know a lot of people probably are tired of helping me. I'm sorry I've drained them all (probably mostly while I was living in Redding, California). I definitely didn't mean to.

But fortunately I have a job and I'm moving up to Virginia now. I'll be in a better position. :-)

I'm leaving the Raleigh area behind. I know I've been a drain on what friends I do have there. I went about some things the wrong way. I'm sure many of them forgive me. I'm not sure how many truly forgive me, but I'm sure just about all of them will say they do. But whether they forgive me or not, they're still totally drained.

On top of that, I know I mentioned I find I make better friends in other places compared to Raleigh. That has always been the case for me, even before I moved to California, and before I became a drain on my friends in North Carolina. What can I say? It's an observation I've made. I've got great friends in Redding, Clear Lake, CA, Los Angeles, Portland, Seattle, some towns in Michigan, other towns in Texas, etc etc. (OK, haven't been to Portland, Seattle, Michigan, or Texas yet but the people I've met from those places and others I've been able to be great friends with) I've always had trouble with friendships in the Raleigh area, and the only reason why I think that is is even biblical. A prophet is not welcome in his home.

OK, for a little while before I moved to Redding, California, certain people in this area loved me, especially those at my church or other friends I've made in the spirit-filled Christian community! Maybe it was because I received this prophetic word that pretty much confirmed I was supposed to go to Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry. They helped me out to get there to Redding! They even helped me well on into it for a while. I don't deny that. But it fell apart last year, and now I'm back where I started. Guess I used up all the help I can get here.

I came back and I've quickly worn out my welcome here.

What can I do? I'm just going to move on to my next opportunity and make the most of it. And that's what I'll do. I'll make it back to Redding eventually. Nothing against you, my friends in Raleigh/Clayton/all other towns in the area. I just know I've worn out my welcome and I'm not wanted here.

It really does hurt to come to this conclusion, honestly. But there's a bright side, a great future God has for me.

I know God has great things in store for me. I'm an eagle that has somehow gotten stuck in this chicken coup he grew up in again. I know I can fly, yet others still try to tell me I can't. I've experienced the flight before. Yes, I crashed, but that's not stopping me from knowing that I am an eagle. Let's look past the negative stuff of the last two years. In the last two years, I've accomplished things that I know 10 years ago I never thought I'd be doing. God says there's more, that I need to fly higher, and don't worry about the crash. The crash is part of the learning and growing experience! And so I fly again!

Those that want to be chickens can choose to be. Is there anyone reading this who wants to be an eagle and fly even when the chickens say you can't do it? That's all they are, chickens! Let's fly! My real friends, the eagles, will support me through all this. And I may make mistakes along the way again! But I'm still learning. The chickens will mock me when I crash and say "I told you so" but there's no need to listen to them. So who among those reading this is a chicken and who is an eagle?

The past two paragraphs were based on a prophetic word that Angelo Candler gave me years ago. Basically he saw me as an eagle, and I was in a chicken coup. I dreamed of flying, yet everyone told me I was a chicken and couldn't fly. See, that word that he gave me was the first point where I began to understand my true identity in Christ. I know I'm not accepted by everyone, especially many in my home area. I don't need to be. I'm flying. Those who want to fly, feel free to join me!