Something I notice about when I choose to give up...

When I was in Redding, finding a job, most of the time, I didn't choose to give up while I was trying to find work.

When i chose to move down to Los Angeles, I made that choice after I had lost my job with Daydream Services. I made the choice after I had lost what I thought would help me to sustain me financially.

Again, I get back to Redding. I was willing to go homeless if I had to. Then I find a little freelance work. At first it seemed to be enough to sustain me.

But not enough of it came in.

Something happened where I wasn't willing to be homeless anymore to stay in Redding. I just wanted to go home.

I tend to give up after I see a certain amount of breakthrough, but then it doesn't last. That's when I give up.

Maybe the problem is once I got a certain amount of breakthrough, I was content with it and didn't keep pressing in for more. And when that breakthrough I had suddenly fell through, I wanted to give up.

I need to be prepared for things to fall through. And the fact is, I haven't been prepared for that. What do I do when I think I have breakthrough, and then it doesn't come to pass like I felt I needed it to? Like I get a job, thinking it would help me make a living and get back to ministry school by the next school year, just to lose it a month later?

I'm not trying to beat myself up over this. I'm just saying this is something I noticed. I give up after I see a certain amount of breakthrough, but find it's not enough.

What's the cause of that for me? Why do I do this? I want to know.