I had typed up a whole lot, and realized that I was letting my emotions control me, so I deleted what I wrote and started over.
I'm just frustrated with certain people right now, who have good intentions, but unintentionally making attempts to control me. I don't think they realize that's what they're doing.
I just ask one thing of anyone who is reading this blog. I am not you. Please do not try to make me into what you want me to be. It won't work. It'll only make me miserable if I let you do it, and probably only make me hate you. I don't want to hate you.
One of the people I'm frustrated with is my landlord. It's not actual issues with the room or anything, I'm ok with the rules he has set. But when it comes to my diet, my future, my theology, etc, he's being very controlling. I don't like it. I'm glad I'm moving out by the end of this month. I think I'm going to move out sooner, actually. This is not very fun.
I'm fortunate to have friends who understand my heart. I'm fortunate to be moving in with some awesome people who love Jesus, who are open to the supernatural, and who are honest about the problems they have.
Back home, there were certain people who really understood what God was doing with me and what was on my heart. They weren't controlling at all. They were very supportive. One of them is a person I think of as my spiritual father, Matt Lutz. He helped me get out here and he's continuing to help make sure my needs here are taken care of.
I know this sounds awful and hateful, but I wish the ones who didn't understand what God is really doing in my life, yet try to give me advice about what I should do, about my future, etc would just go away. Frankly, I don't want to talk with you.
Now understand, disagreement is ok. I know there are times when I'm making a bad decision and I need someone to correct me. Matt has corrected me a number of times. So have others who really understand what God is doing in my life. The ones who don't try to correct me when there probably isn't any correction needed.
There's so many of you that want to correct me, that want to take me down a path that you think is best for me, that I can't make you all happy. And I'm not striving to make any man happy. You may actually have good intentions, but if you don't understand what God is doing in me, PLEASE STOP CARING! Or at least stop caring the way you are caring! Pray for me if you really feel the need to.
I kind of get the feeling that a lot of different people are trying to be like a father to me. Well I want to make this clear. If I haven't told you that you are like a father to me, I probably don't want you to be my father.
OK, quite frankly, my emotions are showing through in this still, but this was much more thought out and more pleasant than what I would have written.
One other thing, unless I've had a good talk with you about what God has put on my heart, and the things I believe God is leading me to do, back off. You don't know what God has put on my heart, unless you have a word of knowledge about it or a prophetic word for me. If you do, then give it, and if it's right on, then maybe God did show you what's on my heart. Otherwise, please, leave me alone.
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