Thankfully, there were enough people back at home who took me seriously enough. Otherwise, I would not even be here in Redding, California. So, I do know some people definitely take me as seriously as I need to be taken.
Here's what I realized tonight. The idea that people don't take me seriously has been the main thing that has kept me from letting a woman know that I'm interested in her. From my past, most of the time if I was mentioned by anyone about dating or marriage, it was a joke. The times I have dated anyone, they had some issues, which at the time I ignored, but now realize they're issues I don't need to deal with in a relationship.
I feel like I take myself seriously enough. I don't want to take myself too seriously. That's no good either. I need the right balance.
Here in California, I definitely feel like I'm taken more seriously by people. People take my music pretty seriously and my dreams pretty seriously as well. The spiritual giftings I have are taken seriously and I can definitely see I'm growing because of that
So, I realize I have difficulty asking anyone out unless I know she likes me that way ahead of time, because of the fact that most of the time I haven't been taken seriously in that area in the first place I think that's finally starting to be broken off of me. Also, maybe as I start to take the call that God has on my life more seriously, that's being broken off of me too.
I am totally in the right place. Right here in Redding, California, I'm growing, and it's my time to shine. This is growth that I have totally been needing. I really feel like I should have been out here a lot sooner. I can't help but think from time to time, if my parents were more in tune with God, maybe would have been out here a lot sooner and so much damage wouldn't have been done. But what's happened has happened, and I can't hold it against my parents. I just know I have a relationship with God, he's number 1 in my life, and he's put me in a place where I can be healed and where I can grow.
There's one woman in particular who, in the last week or so, seems to be showing some interest in me. (ok, I guess this has been happening a few times with different people, but this seems so different this time around) She also seems to take me seriously enough, and seems sincerely interested in me. I don't know if it's a friend or as something more, but I think, especially in this area, I'm getting a lot of healing.
I definitely do want to get married some point. And I definitely believe I'm going to meet her here in Redding. But that's also going to require someone taking me seriously enough, and for me to know I'm taken seriously enough.
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