So I'm still looking for another place to stay, and I have some work.

I can't stay here too much longer with my parents.

I love my parents. But quite frankly, communication with them has been awkward for a long time, and still is. On top of that, the masonic stuff going on in the family is just plain evil. And I know I have family members who can read this blog that would totally disagree with me. It doesn't matter to me.My mother has wanted me to join for a long time, but I won't. I hope she realizes that it's a losing battle for her.

On top of that, I didn't even plan on staying at my parents house anyway. I just came here because the friends I was going to stay with weren't ready for me yet. I don't know if they are now. If they are, that's great! I'm ready to move in. So I need to talk to Jeremy and Christy about that. I'll talk with some other people at my church too just in case they have decided not to have me there now.

Yesterday, I was with my mother, going to my brother's house so I could use Skype. I can't use it at my parents house because the connection is unstable and limited to 5 gigabytes a month. It's beyond me why my mother pays $60/month for this, but that's what she's chosen to do. Anyway she said she was going by McDonalds on the way, and asked if I wanted anything. So she got a couple of biscuits and a soda for me.

Then the next thing she said when we were going through the drive-thru was "You owe me". And it was in a tone that didn't sound very good. I asked "How much". She said "we'll talk about it later. You also owe me for staying at the house" First of all, you're going to offer something to me, and not tell me I owe you then, and then after you buy it for me, then tell me I owe you? And I was willing to pay for the breakfast then, but she didn't want it then. Something is not right. I had some bad vibes about that and I have a feeling she wasn't talking about money. I know I owe my parents, and I want to help them out financially when I'm able to. I want to be a blessing to them. But this statement she made to me wasn't out of love, but to instill fear in me. Fear is part of the problem I had, part of the reason I kept changing my mind about leaving Redding, staying in Redding, etc. Fear has lead to the double mindedness and I can't allow her to do this to me. She gave me the creeps about this, yes. But I won't put up with this. You know, loving a person goes a lot further than making someone fear you.

Well, there is some good news in all this. I do have some substantial graphic and web site design work I'm doing for one client, which will likely lead to other work. One of the sites will be a continual thing for me. So hopefully I'll have enough to pay rent and take care of some other needs too. One thing is for certain, I'm moving out of this place as soon as a door opens for me to do so. I can't stay trapped here.

And I realize my mother can read this. I'm not worried about it. Whatever she wants to do, she'll do. I honor her, but I won't be controlled by her like that.